A Brief Look at a Narcissistic/Self-Loving Romantic Relationship
Which of us dreams of a romantic relationship with a narcissistic person? Probably none of us. So why do people form romantic relationships with narcissistic people? Let’s see together.
People who are with people with a narcissistic personality structure generally cannot recognize their partner’s configurations. In fact, at the beginning of their relationship, they are quite happy and receive high attention. Narcissistic people do not show most of their feelings and thoughts to their partners at the beginning of their relationships and show serious interest in them.
As the relationship progresses, partners may find themselves in a state of mixed feelings and thoughts, and undergoing rapid changes in feelings and thoughts day by day.
In the early stages of a romantic relationship, the narcissist shows intense love to his partner while flirting. The partners may not even have experienced such romantic love in their lives. The individual, who is very loving to his partner in the name of the relationship, never compromises his related behaviors and affects his partner deeply.
The narcissistic individual who influences his partner gradually draws his attention and the person who is the partner becomes very upset and worried about this situation. This period will be a very intense and jarring process for the partner. While he had a normal and never-ending attention process and his partner, his partner suddenly changed.
So what will the partner do at this stage?
The partner is in shock and worried. The partner’s reaction is ‘what’s going on?’ will be. He will then blame himself and look for evidence of whether he did anything wrong. In this case, things usually start like this: the disinterested and anxious partner begins to show intense interest in the narcissistic partner. Will this interest come back in the same way? Unfortunately, the person often does not return and continues to see an unrelated partner.
Then the narcissistic individual begins to criticize his partner constantly. The wife will be even more confused when she ruthlessly criticizes the spouse she loved and valued before.
Does the person want to stay in a relationship where they feel worthless?
The partner may not want to stay in this relationship where they feel worthless, or they may try to fix their narcissistic partner. So does this work? Of course, this is a situation that can vary from relationship to relationship. But in a narcissistic relationship pattern, this is the attitude that partners usually take.
Sometimes people try too hard to change their partners. It may take years, but they don’t give up. Sometimes no effort pays off.
Let’s consider a process that maintains the relationship. What kind of process awaits the person in this case?
The partner who is constantly criticized will be blamed this time. Even the narcissistic individual’s own mistakes are shown as if they were made because of his partner. As the person continues to be constantly blamed and criticized, he will begin to seek guilt and question himself over time.
Of course, each of us should question ourselves and review our right/wrong behavior in our relationships. However, the attitude we are talking about here is different.
Let’s say there is a partner who decides to break up.
The person has made an effort for his narcissistic partner, but he no longer has the strength to bear it. If the person decides to leave, their narcissistic partner will not allow that person to perform the behavior. He can leave you on your own. When separated, the person may experience confusion within himself. He has given you many difficulties, but he himself is leaving you. Interesting situation isn’t it? You get confused and keep thinking that way.
A narcissistic partner may come across you at another time in your life and show early displays of affection as if nothing had happened. In fact, it may not have changed at all.
The important point here is that the person is aware. While this is quite difficult for someone who is in a romantic relationship with a narcissistic individual, it is not impossible.
Separation is often perceived as a cold and repulsive word. But sometimes separation is healing. It’s like ending a narcissistic relationship with a healthy breakup.
If you are striving for awareness and cannot reach the point of awareness, I recommend that you seek professional help. You can contact therapists who are experts in their field. Since your emotional intensity will be quite high in your relationship and after the relationship ends, you may not be able to look at the situation you are in from a logical perspective.
Thank you for being with me in this article as well. See you in my next post.
